The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
