we have pet lesbian snakes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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