This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
