I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
