DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
