Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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