The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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