so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
