You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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