well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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