Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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