Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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