Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
