Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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