So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
