life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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