margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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