I want to stick my p in your. b.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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