Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
