if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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