i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
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I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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