Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
