so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
