If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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