ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
