Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
