? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
