I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
