The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize