i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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