He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
