i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
