I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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