We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
