If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
