Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
