Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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