he puts the penis in happiness.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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