pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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