He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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