oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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