You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
