Buhtt sex?
he shaved USA in his pubs
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
