You're so nebulous sometimes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
