I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she peed on how many people?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
