And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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