you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Green mimosas i think yes
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
