Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
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I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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