Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
