After last night, I could never be a politician.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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