Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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