I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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