I'm so fucking centered right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize