he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
