everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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