At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Houston, we have a squirter
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
