My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
