Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
