dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
