Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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