So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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