If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
