jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
A+ Viking dick
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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