I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
