I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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