at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.